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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
 Posted - 05/01/2004 : 09:22:04 AM
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The Guys' Rules:
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Hope all you guys enjoyed this one! I had such a laugh over it because I know most of its true! I can't wait to hear what all your comments will be! |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2004 : 11:21:38 AM
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i think you replace sports with videogames, you more or less have it, because god knows i'd rather be shot on the chest with projectile diahrrea than watch sports.
also, i don't know if you've noticed, but i have. if you call a girl fat, she'll believe you. it doesn't even really matter what she looks like. they always start thinking they're fat.
i wouldn't reall call crying blackmail. it's not like crying is threatening to use incriminating things you might have done that time with my cousin in my cellar when i was 16. crying is more like lighting yourself on fire. people will do anything to put you out. |
death to false metal. |
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genome
Fluffy-Esque
1098 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2004 : 11:21:56 AM
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1
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hahahaha..
thats stuff good pjk |
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Arthen
Alien Abductee
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2004 : 1:05:50 PM
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| I love the one about subtle hints. That's a great list. Now we have to print out copies and hand them out to women. |
Steve Hackett: "I'm my own opening act, you see."
Tim (before "Faceoff"): "Peace, love....and SEX!"
cbenc41@hotmail.com |
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Oozle
Chatterbox
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 05/01/2004 : 6:28:21 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Arthen
I love the one about subtle hints. That's a great list. Now we have to print out copies and hand them out to women.
Yes, do that. It will go over really well. Trust me.  |
ren :) |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2004 : 09:08:45 AM
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Many of those are definitely true for my guy, with one corollary... (see below)
quote:
Originally posted by PJK
The Guys' Rules:
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine ...Really.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. (Unless GPS is involved and then it's cool.)
Luckily he's not all that into sports or monster trucks. He is into his new BMW Z4, however. |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2004 : 9:27:17 PM
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| Damn, I would be very into my BMW Z4 if I had one! Teri, did I mention that John's a keeper?????? Definitely hang on to him! |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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tericee
Alien Abductee
USA
2579 Posts |
Posted - 05/06/2004 : 05:41:53 AM
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| That's my goal! |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 05/06/2004 : 06:22:05 AM
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| WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!! I couldn't be happier for you and John!!!!! |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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thomasode
Yak Addict
565 Posts |
Posted - 05/09/2004 : 11:27:13 PM
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| HAHA thats awesome Pam |
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Guy Rules
