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Jay
Alien Abductee
Vatican City
2279 Posts |
 Posted - 06/06/2004 : 11:19:00 AM
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Here's some good ones...Really makes you wonder why in the hell people find this nescesary...
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener
"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
And my all time favorite...this makes no sense whatsoever
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
Instructions, ingredients...
"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The
ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.
"Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case.
Materials:
Covering: 100% Unknown.
Stuffing: 100% Unknown."
-- On a pillow.
"Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner.
"In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.
"Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits.
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner.
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"Hey man...you smell..."
"Oh yeah?"
"yeah...like dinner..." |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2004 : 12:05:59 PM
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quote:
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
Having worked in a veterinary hospital for years believe it or not there are stupid people who try to try their pets that way! People who shouldn't own pets......or worse yet, have kids!
quote:
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener
Because of law suits from huffing.......stupid teens!
quote:
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
This one is my favorite. When I worked in research our rats/mice got cancer from Purina rat/mice chow! I used to tell everyone "What we need are stronger rats!"
quote:
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
Why I hate to fly.....that and the speech they always give about what to do in the case of water "landings" Water Landings, ah, I think its called a CRASH!
Thanks for the laughs Jay! What would our world do without stupid people? Most of those are because some asshole somewhere sued and won because something wasn't put on a label.
I know most of you on this board file the EZ1040 or telefile your taxes ( or just don't pay them, LOL) but on certain itemized forms there is a section to report income from embezzelment! I always wanted to put down some amount in that spot just for the heck of it but didn't want to mess with the minds of the IRS. BTW its there so if someone gets caught embezzeling they are also hit for non-payment of taxes. |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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SandyCarl
Try A Little Harder
81 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2004 : 12:13:16 PM
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quote:
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
My watch stays in my underwear. So when a girl asks me what time it is, I have a good reason to drop my pants. |
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PJK
Alien Abductee
USA
4159 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2004 : 12:16:19 PM
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| HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Good one SandyCarl, hey did you used to post on here under another name? |
"It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!"Friedrich Nietzsche |
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dan p.
Alien Abductee
Uganda
3776 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2004 : 5:55:12 PM
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| i can't even remember the last time i had a box of hammers. |
death to false metal. |
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Macht
Chatterbox
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2004 : 11:02:35 PM
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those are pretty funny.
wonder if this was mentioned on this forum:
On a chainsaw box: Do not attempt to stop chain with hand
On the bottom of a box: Do not put upside-down |
Authorities here are alert |
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James M.
Chatterbox
USA
245 Posts |
Posted - 06/08/2004 : 8:59:46 PM
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| "warning..do not stop chainsaw with genitals" |
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Macht
Chatterbox
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - 06/08/2004 : 9:51:23 PM
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| would be a good way to help control the pet population |
Authorities here are alert |
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rubylith
Fluffy-Esque
1916 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2004 : 10:29:43 AM
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| thats funny, i'd like to see the labels though. especially that railroad one! haha |
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guitarted
Chatterbox
Canada
487 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2004 : 4:55:06 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Jay
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
I wish I had known this before eating mine. |
Tim, come to Canada! |
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strangest warning labels...
