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Acceptance of a Higher Power
A primary tenet of 12-step recovery requires a member to surrender willful self-reliance (a purported characteristic of afflicted persons), to adopt the practice of reliance on God, or another "Higher Power" of the member's own understanding. Proponents of twelve-step programs allege that agnostics and even atheists can be helped by the program, as a member’s concept of a "Higher Power" may originate (and/or remain) with the 12-step group itself. With time, any other entity, thing(s) or object(s) that aid a member in accepting their powerlessness over their problem, are claimed to become the "Higher Power" that will help them to recover. It is colloquially stated that any Power perceived as being greater than oneself will do, provided the power is not any other, single individual, or one's own unaided will.

The success of Twelve-step groups in aiding in recovery of addictive illnesses is an argument of significance in some parts of the United States, where the criminal justice system has ordered 12-step group participation to convicted felons as well as inmate addicts as a condition of parole or shortened sentences. U.S. judges have often required attendance at AA meetings as a condition of probation or parole or as an element of a sentence for defendants convicted of a crime. The New York Court of Appeals ruled in Griffin v. Coughlin, 88 N.Y.2d 674 (1996) that doing so compromises the Establishment Clause of the United States Constitution on the grounds that A.A. practices and doctrine are (in the words of the district court judge who wrote the decision) "unequivocally religious". The Supreme Court of the United States denied certiorari and allowed the New York court's decision to stand.

Critics of the 12-step programs, however, often hold that this reliance is ineffective, and offensive or inapplicable to atheists and others who do not believe in a salvific deity. Other critics see forms of authoritarian mind control in the 12 step approach.

Some critics state that 12-step groups are religious in nature. The only authorized literature in most 12-step groups is their own publications. The members of 12-step groups make the distinction that the groups are spiritual, and not religious; members of 12-step groups are also members of a wide variety of religious bodies. Nearly every meeting begins with the Serenity Prayer, a prayer addressed to "God." The Big Book states that its "main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem." [3]

Some critics also question the idea of giving up on self-reliance, which can be seen as a form of idealized despair. Secular alternatives to twelve-step programs, such as Rational Recovery, are for this reason in many ways opposite to the twelve-step process. Others, such as YES Recovery, acknowledge a debt to the twelve-steps movement but do not have a culture of belief in God.

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Originally posted by dan p.



here's a thought: what if you named alcohol your higher power?

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When it comes to correcting papers and grading tests, purple is emerging as the new red.

"If you see a whole paper of red, it looks pretty frightening," said Sharon Carlson, a health and physical education teacher at John F. Kennedy Middle School in Northampton. "Purple stands out, but it doesn't look as scary as red."

That's the cue pen makers and office supply superstores say they have gotten from teachers as the $15 billion back-to-school retail season kicks off. They say focus groups and conversations with teachers have led them to conclude that a growing number of the nation's educators are switching to purple, a color they perceive as "friendlier" than red.

As a result, Paper Mate introduced purple to its assortment of blue, red, and green X-Tend pens and increased distribution of existing purple pens this school year. Barry Calpino, Paper Mate's vice president and general manager, estimated that the Bellwood, Ill., company boosted production of purple pens by at least 10 percent. He said purple will now be a standard color in all its new product lines.

Office superstores such as Staples and OfficeMax also are making a splash with purple pens, stocking more of them, adding purple to multicolor packs, and selling all-purple packs. By comparison, Staples did not stock any exclusively purple pen packs last year and it hardly had any purple pens in its stores two years ago, said Robert George, the Framingham chain's senior vice president of general merchandise. Now, he said, sales of purple pens are growing at a faster clip than pen sales overall.

A mix of red and blue, the color purple embodies red's sense of authority but also blue's association with serenity, making it a less negative and more constructive color for correcting student papers, color psychologists said. Purple calls attention to itself without being too aggressive. And because the color is linked to creativity and royalty, it is also more encouraging to students.

"The concept of purple as a replacement for red is a pretty good idea," said Leatrice Eiseman, director of the Pantone Color Institute in Carlstadt, N.J., and author of five books on color. "You soften the blow of red. Red is a bit over-the-top in its aggression."

For office supply stores, color and fashion trends spell opportunity and risk. The trends allow them to freshen up staid old categories such as pens and markers, fueling sales. But getting a trend wrong -- betting on purple pens when teachers and students are buying green, for example -- can cost them sales during a critical retail period.

Red's legacy as the color used in correcting papers and marking mistakes goes back to the 1700s, the era of the quill pen. In those days, red ink was used by clerks and accountants to correct ledgers. From there, it found its way into teachers' hands.

But two or three decades ago, an anti-red sentiment began surfacing among teachers. Since then, no one color had emerged as red's replacement.

"I do not use red," said Robin Slipakoff, who teaches second and third grades at Mirror Lake Elementary School in Plantation, Fla. "Red has a negative connotation, and we want to promote self-confidence. I like purple. I use purple a lot."

Sheila Hanley, who teaches reading and writing to first- and second-graders at John F. Kennedy Elementary School in Randolph, said: "Red is definitely a no-no. But I don't know if purple is in."

Hanley said a growing contingent of her colleagues is using purple. They prefer it to green and yellow because it provides more contrast to the black or blue ink students are asked to write in. And they prefer it to orange, which they think is too similar to red.

But aside from avoiding red, Hanley said she is not sure color matters much. At times, she uses sticky notes rather than writing on a child's paper. What's important, she said, is to focus on how an assignment can be improved rather than on what is wrong with it, she said.

Ruslan Nedoruban, who is entering seventh grade at his Belmont school, said red markings on his papers make him feel "uncomfortable."

His mother, Victoria Nedoruban, who is taking classes to improve her English, said she thinks papers should be corrected in red.

"I hate red," she said. "But because I hate it, I want to work harder to make sure there isn't any red on my papers."

Red has other defenders. California high-school teacher Carol Jago, who has been working with students for more than 30 years, said she has no plans to stop using red. She said her students do not seem psychologically scarred by how she wields her pen. And if her students are mixing up "their," "there," and "they're," she wants to shock them into fixing the mistake.

"We need to be honest and forthright with students," Jago said. "Red is honest, direct, and to the point. I'm sending the message, 'I care about you enough to care how you present yourself to the outside world.' "

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...His son's team was winning 24-7 as the game entered the last inning. When he looked up at the scoreboard, he noticed that the score read 0-0. Naturally, he inquired as to what happened -- was the scoreboard perhaps broken? -- and was told that the winning team's coach asked the scoreboard keeper to change the score. He and some of the parents were concerned that the kids on the losing team felt humiliated. In order to ensure that the kids losing by a lopsided score would not feel too bad, the score was changed.

As is happening throughout America, "compassion" trumped all other values.

Truth was the first value compassion trashed. In the name of compassion, the adults in charge decided to lie. The score was not 0-0; it was 24-7.

Wisdom was the second value compassion obliterated. It is unwise to the point of imbecilic to believe that the losing kids were in any way helped by changing the score. On the contrary, they learned lessons that will hamper their ability to mature.

They learned that someone will bail them out when they feel bad.

They learned that they do not have to deal with disappointment in life. Instead, someone in authority will take care of them.

They learned that their feelings, not objective standards, are what society deems most important.

They learned that they are not responsible for their behavior. No matter how poorly they perform, there will be no consequences.

At the same time, the kids on the winning team learned not to try their best. Why bother?

Building character was the third value trumped by compassion. People build character far more through handling defeat than through winning. The human being grows up only when forced to deal with disappointment. We remain children until the day we take full responsibility for our lives...

The fourth value that compassion denied here was fairness. It was entirely unfair to the winning team to have their score expunged, all their work denied.

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Originally posted by dan p.
there's a portion of yuppy-boomer assholes who also push their kid far, far too hard, as well. these would be the people who put their kids into schools at like, 6 months old. they're the ones who come to me asking how their kid is doing in his lessons as compared to my other students, and get angry when i explain you can't really make that kind of judgement simply because there are others who have been playing for longer. i tell them that the kid's progress is good, or he needs to work harder, as the case may be. these are the parents who pressure their kids into doing a thousand different things the kid doesn't want to do. often times these people will brag about how well their child did in whatever activity they pressured him in to, but never say a positive word to the kid regarding it.

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Originally posted by sciphish
"You've witnessed a kid being told or parents taking credit for, any kind of crap or worth, and that makes you think that that's a problem? Where do you see the effect of telling kids they are perfect?"

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To the Editor: Our son, Mark Kordos, died on April 8th at MIT. He was the victim of an attempted suicide that ended up a fatal mistake. But the responsibility for Mark's death was not his alone; it must be shared by society, the "system," and by MIT... MIT, the "system", and society took our son, our shining young man, and victimized him...

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Originally posted by Hopeful Rolling Waves

I really can't fathom being in a place dark enough to terminate myself, it seems like the only way really defeat your demons is to live your balls off.

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